short little note!!!

I took down all the Christmas ornaments and decorations today. The whole time I kept thinking about how next year Laila will be here! We have these stocking holders on the mantle that spell JOY. One letter for each of our stockings.... Its almost hard to believe, but the past 5 Christmases I have thought "this is the last Christmas with just us 3, next year we will have a baby" and each year it still remained the 3 of us. And with each year passing it became a little harder to think that one day it would be a reality that we would have another child. Although I couldnt shake the feeling that we were missing someone here this year, I finally had HOPE that one day it will be the 4 of us.... Guess I should look for some stocking hooks that spell out HOPE!!

I never realized how much you can miss someone whom you have never met! Throughout this holiday I imagined Laila in every circumstance, every party, every last minute shopping trip and wondered what it would be like. I wonder if Krissy would have held her hand bravely and went to take that photo with Santa?? She wouldnt do it alone, but what if she had her sister?? We both wondered what it would have been like to set up "santa" for 2 kids!! :)

It is hard to believe how close we are to actually becoming a family of 4. It has taken so long to get here, but I wouldn't change a.single.thing!!! I am so thankful for everything good and bad that we had to go through to be standing right here right now... I pray that everything will continue to go good and that soon the day will come.